I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
