He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
