bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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