Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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