i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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