If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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