I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
What a dumb baby whore.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
