I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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