There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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