i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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