We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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