I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize