i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
