she looked like the bat from fern gully.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
