About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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