i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
