Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
