I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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