the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
