Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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