but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
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He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
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Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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