Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
