Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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