but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
