if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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