I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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