Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he shaved USA in his pubs
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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