so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
