I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
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BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
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Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.