You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know