i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
