Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind

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(847): i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind http://tfl.nu/hyvq

Replies (11) Good night (769) Bad night (996)
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(347): View more from New York

I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot

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(347): I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot http://tfl.nu/oi7m

Replies (4) Good night (3380) Bad night (484)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup

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(918): it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup http://tfl.nu/9c9q

Replies (11) Good night (2248) Bad night (513)
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(706): View more from Georgia

dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.

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(706): dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you. http://tfl.nu/te9j

Replies (23) Good night (5976) Bad night (642)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.

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(203): The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake. http://tfl.nu/g05l

Replies (13) Good night (10892) Bad night (1178)
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(985): View more from Louisiana

when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"

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(985): when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this" http://tfl.nu/g0yg

Replies (9) Good night (2218) Bad night (6481)
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(240): View more from Maryland

last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours

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(240): last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours http://tfl.nu/1nv0

Replies (15) Good night (13330) Bad night (1200)
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(210): View more from Texas

Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.

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(210): Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16. http://tfl.nu/i5l7

Replies (20) Good night (1076) Bad night (4434)
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(718): View more from New York

Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.

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(718): Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet. http://tfl.nu/d2h1

Replies (2) Good night (620) Bad night (2271)
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(517): View more from Michigan

After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.

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(517): After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders. http://tfl.nu/u1xt

Replies (19) Good night (3014) Bad night (778)
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(718): View more from New York

I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.

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(718): I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra. http://tfl.nu/riuo

Replies (4) Good night (2190) Bad night (562)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving

(301): View more from Maryland

He didn't think we needed a taxi

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(814): I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving (301): He didn't think we needed a taxi http://tfl.nu/o7fa

Replies (1) Good night (1482) Bad night (543)
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(703): View more from Virginia

BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.

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(703): BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES. http://tfl.nu/8c1x

Replies (3) Good night (403) Bad night (1170)
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(775): View more from Nevada

It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers

(702): View more from Nevada

Real life dumb and dumber

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(775): It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers (702): Real life dumb and dumber http://tfl.nu/6nu9

Replies (3) Good night (771) Bad night (354)
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(647): View more from Ontario

In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far

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(647): In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far http://tfl.nu/x45g

Replies (8) Good night (630) Bad night (354)

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