also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
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I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
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I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize