Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
