He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
