The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
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