well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
