"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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