So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
