Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
