Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
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