This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
