I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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