So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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