Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
