why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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