what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Randomize
