these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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