You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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