First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
