I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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