chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
