Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
