Having a random hookup so left but love u
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
