who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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