Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
