butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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