Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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