I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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