Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
