chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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